How folk see me

When folk look at me

What do they see?

They see

The terror

The pain

The anger oh yeah the anger

They see that Freak

From long ago

The one who was abused

His mum died 

Left him like

All the rest

They see the temper

The nasty freaky man

I used to be


They never look

Close enough to see

That man

Has changed

Become a peaceful

Kinder man


All they see 

Is the Freak

From way back when

Who was angry at the world

Who wanted to make things end

To make it stop


They see that

Because the real me

Is hiding behind that wall

The one I built

In me to stop 

Them hurting me

Punishing me

For being a freak

No one gets in

Friends I have few, actually two

Only one of them

See’s who I am

Really am

Can I ever be normal?

Can I stop being the freak?

Who everyone hates

Who no one cares about

The one who does

Crazy things

Who hurts himself

And crazily enjoys it


I won’t be that person

Any more 

I want to move on

To be the peaceful

Kind man

That’s been hiding for years

The one who cares to much

The one who rarely say’s no

Who gets used and abused

Because that is what 

I deserve

Freak that I am


One thought on “How folk see me

  1. Please R**, I understand, I’ve always understood but you are NOT a freak in anyway whatsoever. I know you better than I know myself and you are the kindest, most caring, understanding, inspirational man I have ever known in my 50 years, you are my best real life friend and YOU ARE FLIPPING AMAZING!

    You ARE VERY LOVED and treasured. I genuinely don’t think you realise how much of a difference you make in folks lives. As for the people who can’t see past your past, they are not worthy of you Hun. I can tell you are very upset tonight. I wish I wasn’t feeling so damn poorly so I could help you more. Please take care x


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