Terror of the past

When I determined to write my story. Well not all of it just the parts that I have proof of. I knew it would be a hard struggle. I’m going to start writing it properly on Monday. Give myself the weekend to build up to it.

I know that may sound silly build up to it. However I started putting together the information I’d need to write this story and already I’m struggling mentally with all the memories and reminders of terror from my past that have taken up residence in my mind tonight.


I am going to do this!

I am worth more than my past

I will succeed with this book

I will not let all that crap

Come back into my head

And mess it up again

This time it will be done

It will be finished

Sent to a publisher by September

If it gets published or not

Doesn’t matter

I have to do this



Perhaps I sound self indulgent here but seriously folks this is driving me to the brink of doing something silly again.


2 thoughts on “Terror of the past

  1. You ARE NOT self indulgent. What you are about to undertake is massive. I know one of the reasons you want to do this is to try and get the law changed regarding access to family records re siblings being adopted, sent away and them not even knowing you existed for decades until your 40 year search finally paid off and you traced the twins. I sincerely admire your reasons for doing this, totally selfless as always but could you not just write a chapter and then give yourself long breaks in between? I genuinely don’t know if you are strong enough to undertake this at this moment in time and I worry greatly about the effects this is going to have on you.
    Having said that, I will support you 100% x


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