Lost wee boy

When my mum died I was 9 year old. The stress and anger it caused turned me into a lost wee boy.
Recently I’ve been looking at my life back then and have come to realise. When I get stressed or angry these days. I do the exact same thing. Becoming a lost wee boy until all the stress and anger has gone.
It makes me hide from the world, I often wedge myself between the bed and the wall so I’m held tight. That makes me feel safe just like a wee boy would. Worst of all I build a gigantic wall around me. Let no one in that way I can’t get hurt. However it also means no one can get in to help me or comfort me. Then the worry, anger or stress just cycles around in my mind. Making it worse!
How to stop this cycle? I just don’t know. I do know it needs to stop!

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2 thoughts on “Lost wee boy

  1. ((((((BIG HUG))))) Love you loads. Not everything can be fixed, I think you cope so well. If it brings you comfort then there is nothing wrong with that lovely. I totally understand but maybe that’s just part of who you are love and it doesn’t necessarily mean it needs fixing, try and be a bit more understanding of the wonderfully unique person you are x

    Like

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