As a victim of abuse. We all use these tendencies without thinking about it.
We will remember every bad word said about us for ever. All the folk who back up our negative feelings about ourselves will be included. They are the people speaking the truth.
When folk say nice or positive things about us. We think they’re being nice, or they’re only saying that and don’t mean those things. So we exclude anything they say about us because it can’t be true. It doesn’t fit with our feelings about ourselves.
So what do we do?
We need to re-evaluate the way we listen. Rather than not listening to positive statements. Listen to them and think why would they just be saying it? Some of them will just be saying nice things but that doesn’t mean you have to ignore them.
If nice things are just said. That could mean those saying them think highly of you and are just showing it.
So ask yourself why am I including or excluding statements? If your answer is just because or they’re just being nice. Then think again! Think maybe they’re being honest, maybe they’re speaking a truth you need to accept!
So please listen to what others say and give it serious consideration. Being a survivor of abuse DOES NOT MEAN YOUR BAD or that you DON’T DESERVE GOOD THINGS IN YOUR LIFE! You do same as everyone else.
Perhaps we should be excluding just the negative things and include just the positive thoughts!