As you can see from my previous blog. Things are OK not great but ok. I am missing my best friend though.
The weird thing being my head is so messed up.
I know there are folk really suffering and I have nothing to complain about!!!!!!!!!!
However I’ve stopped taking my medication, I’m spending more and more time in the forest on my own, not even taking my dog with me, just sitting there looking over the cliff towards Perthshire. I can’t settle to anything, stopped reading, stopped writing really, haven’t cut my grass this year at all really well twice.
I don’t get the way my head works! This is all down to me no one else but I don’t understand it at all. Why can’t I act like a normal man? Why does everything seem to be such a struggle and cause so much stress?
I couldn’t even do what was right if it was explained to me in basic terms with diagrams.
I continually make the wrong decisions, say the wrong thing then regret it and end up alone going over everything in my mind and making things so much worse.
What do I do? How can I stop acting like this?
I’m even trying to stop smoking at a time when I’m not taking my heart medication. Weird sad auld man.