I had a long appointment with my psychologist. We chatted for a long time about how this time of year is bad for me.
I really don’t like celebrating my birthday because just after that is the anniversary of my mum’s death. My birthday reminds me of that time and my mood gets very low often suicidal.
Seemingly I am dissassociative. It started when mum died. Then when I was treated differently from the other kids that were with the same foster parents.
I wouldn’t call my foster mother mum. In my mind my mum had died and no one was going to replace her.
Seemingly that means that I always see myself as the outsider and never think anyone will want me as a friend.
I’m not sure how I feel about this. Still trying to get my head round it all.