Self control is something we all take for granted. We can all walk away from those dodgy situations, when we feel it slip.
Some of us, me included, need to struggle every day to maintain that control. To keep us and those around us safe. Sometimes we/I struggle so much with this aspect of life. We wonder. WHAT IF we let that control slip. Would it be that bad?
For me it would solve so many issues.
I could stop worrying about the things going on in my life. The authorities would have complete control of my life. No need to worry any more. Surely that would be a good thing? Wouldn’t it?
Those who had hurt us would feel the consequences of the pain they caused for brief moment. Before I was caught anyway. Redemption could come for their actions and safe others from suffering the same way. They could feel some of what they made others feel. In some cases, my brothers, it would be the end of them causing pain for anyone. Surely for a brief moment of loss of control, it would be worthwhile.
The struggle to maintain control will go on for another day. It will be my life long fight. I hope that one day I will have the strength to say b****r it let go and turn the beast loose to put an end to all that suffering.