Monthly Archives: August 2015


I belong to a writers group and its been really helpful. This term I’ve not been going. My mental health has taken a real dip. My depression has returned with a vengeance and its dragging me down so low.
I kinda know that going would help but I can’t bring myself to go.
The thing being I don’t know why.
Its bit like mental self harm.


Kids and on

Your first, fills you
With pride and joy
No matter girl or boy
When you reach three or four
Its run of the mill

After a few years
Its grandkids
The first, you strut
With pride and joy
Better still you
Get all the good bits
Your kids cope with the stress
When you get to
Seven or eight
They’re still special
More matter of fact though

Now I’m waiting
On my first
Great grandkid
Talk about special
Been telling the world
Teasing granddaughter
I’m not old enough
Only fifty six
Still a youngster

Can’t wait till January
My first grandkid
Having a kid
I’m proud as punch
Once more
The cycle starts
I’m bursting with pride
Can’t wait for a cuddle
From great grandkid
Number one




The look of an insomniac at almost 5am.


Light my way

I chant, I study, I pray
To try and light my way
Achieve something I will
While paying the bill
For a past that could never last
Cause and effect
Shapes all that we are
I chant, I study, I pray
To try and light my way


Past thoughts

In the past
I believed I was
A bastard
Even worse
I hated me
I lied
And cheated
Hid from all
The child within

You came along
Showing you cared
Changing my ways
Then as always
I hurt you
The good
That was created
By true friendship

Now I am
In the dark
Once more
Self inflicted
But changed
Never the same
No more
To cause pain
Ever again
Other than to myself
I’m good at that



The only sleep
Better than the sleep
Of the just
Is the sleep just after

When you get neither
It dawns
You live in the world
Of the insomniac



Memories of joy
Bring smiles to my face
Heart skips a beat
Fleeting moments
Of love and joy
Always missed



If opportunity doesn’t knock.
Build a door yourself.



Eternal companion you are
Without love or care
You create tension
And stress
Pain filled head
Ears that can’t hear
Worst of all
Sleep preventing
I hate you