Monthly Archives: August 2015

Writing

I belong to a writers group and its been really helpful. This term I’ve not been going. My mental health has taken a real dip. My depression has returned with a vengeance and its dragging me down so low.
I kinda know that going would help but I can’t bring myself to go.
The thing being I don’t know why.
Its bit like mental self harm.

Kids and on

Your first, fills you
With pride and joy
No matter girl or boy
When you reach three or four
Its run of the mill

After a few years
Its grandkids
The first, you strut
With pride and joy
Better still you
Get all the good bits
Your kids cope with the stress
When you get to
Seven or eight
They’re still special
More matter of fact though

Now I’m waiting
On my first
Great grandkid
Talk about special
Been telling the world
Teasing granddaughter
I’m not old enough
Only fifty six
Still a youngster

Can’t wait till January
My first grandkid
Having a kid
I’m proud as punch
Once more
The cycle starts
I’m bursting with pride
Can’t wait for a cuddle
From great grandkid
Number one

Past thoughts

In the past
I believed I was
Worthless
A bastard
Unlovable
Even worse
I hated me
I lied
And cheated
Hid from all
The child within
Frightened

You came along
Showing you cared
Changing my ways
Then as always
I hurt you
Destroying
The good
That was created
By true friendship

Now I am
In the dark
Once more
Self inflicted
But changed
Never the same
No more
To cause pain
Ever again
Other than to myself
I’m good at that