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The look of an insomniac at almost 5am.


Lost Friends

Seeing your psychologist should be a growing or healing experience. Today for me was eye opening.
I realised that I not only cause others pain but also the main cause of my own pain.
Realising that you caused pain for others is quite traumatic. Prior to this realisation anytime things got difficult with someone I’d run away as I’ve done with so many things in life.
Once you stop running, like I did, it then shows you how much that pain hurts others. That opens your eyes to all the suffering you’ve caused.
Why then would I continue to be the cause of more pain for the person who showed of that?
I won’t say my answer as this is not about me for a change.
I have now lost the friendship of that person and that is my loss. I however can blame no one than myself.
So if, like me, you cause pain for others. Be very careful because one day it’ll be to late to go back and change anything and that’ll be the fault of the person causing the pain. No one else’s.
So be careful and take all the love you can without creating pain for the other person. Hold on to them. Cherish them and always make sure they know how you feel.

Hot weather

Today was a glorious day, lots of sunshine and very warm.
I’m not overly into the hot weather but it lifts your spirit with blue sky’s. Lifting the spirit.

However my first thought when I got in my car was, damn its so hot. Then I remembered a really good friend who suffers horrendously in the heat. Due to health issues.

So if your enjoying the sun remember there are some folk who suffer really badly due to it.
When we have a day like today say a prayer for those that suffer with it.
That friend and I no longer speak but today I did chant and pray for her today.


I just realised for the last week I’ve been standing on the balcony of a fifth floor flat, to have a smoke, in London. Not once have I seen a star.
At night it grub lovely view and you can see so much. Big Ben, the London eye, the shard, O2 arena even the Thames barrier. So there’s a huge area of sky  but no stars.
I guess because of light pollution. What a sad thing for Londoners not to see the night sky in all its glory.