These create much joy
They bring happiness to many folk
When you see someone
Smile or being Jokey
Look close
They could be hiding a breaking heart
I smile lots
I now and then
Tell a joke
Mostly I’m using both
To hide the way
I’m really feeling
So never judge someone
By just their actions
Those could be masking a world of hurt.
My entire life I have written creatively. Never had I let anyone see my work after my ex told me I must be gay if I was writing poems and fictional stories.
Then I found my best friend Su and she changed the way I thought about these things and much more. Making such a difference that last month I had a couple of items published in an anthology and had several pieces hung in an exhibition in a nearby town.
Now I am going to attempt this NaNoWriMo exercise.
I have an exam tomorrow so I haven’t started the NaNoWriMo yet but starting Monday I am going to give it my best shot.
THANK YOU Su for giving me the self believe to even attempt this x
Comes in all shapes and sizes.
We’ve all felt it at times
Created by us, felt by all
Our own shame is deep
Making us hide from the world
Remembering shameful instances
When our actions have hurt others
Woah that is so low, dragging us into hell
However when the shame is created for us
By others, especially family members
We have no influence on how
It was created or the effects it has
Our family can drag us below Dante’s 9 rings of the inferno
The depths of hell is no longer as low as we can go
I have 2 family members who have dragged me
Way below hell, time to shrink into the abyss
Let folk forget these males are you family
Forget you have any link with such sick b*****d’s
There is no return from these depths
Folk never forget, you will always be the
Brother of that sick pair.
No matter my actions
Those actions of family members will
For ever define me.
Forever make me into
Something I could never be
I just got to search
For an answer
For an escape from the stick
That has tarred my family
It would be better
For the WORLD
If I no longer existed!!!!!!!!!
The police come to my house
Three and a half hours
They questioned me
They now have a link
Between me and those sick
Perverted wee ********
How can I ever life that down?
On Friday night my writing group launched it’s latest anthology, of poems and short stories. I have my creative writing in print for the first time. I’m so pleased with it, even if only two pieces of mine made it in.
Then today I delivered 18 framed pieces from the writing group to an exhibition in the Rothes Halls in Glenrothes. Again two of my pieces in it, different ones though.
What an awesome weekend. Made me look forward to the next time. Maybe even get my own book going.
I have always written without ever having the urge to be published.
Tomorrow however see’s the launch of my writing groups new anthology. Some of my work will be in there, meaning I will then be published. Then at the launch tomorrow night I am reading one of my pieces to a public audience. I’m terrified, nervous and looking forward to it. Now that I know it’s real and happening today WOAH just WOAH.
This over something I never knew I wanted!
Am I alone in feeling this?
Well folks today has been a little rough. I have written the first 2000 words of my life story.
I had some harsh research to do through my social services record. Brought back lots of painful memories. No doubt those will continue until I’ve finished but I am so pleased to be started and to have written this much.
When I determined to write my story. Well not all of it just the parts that I have proof of. I knew it would be a hard struggle. I’m going to start writing it properly on Monday. Give myself the weekend to build up to it.
I know that may sound silly build up to it. However I started putting together the information I’d need to write this story and already I’m struggling mentally with all the memories and reminders of terror from my past that have taken up residence in my mind tonight.
I am going to do this!
I am worth more than my past
I will succeed with this book
I will not let all that crap
Come back into my head
And mess it up again
This time it will be done
It will be finished
Sent to a publisher by September
If it gets published or not
Doesn’t matter
I have to do this
FOR ME
Perhaps I sound self indulgent here but seriously folks this is driving me to the brink of doing something silly again.
Some people in life
Are there for you
No matter the time
Or day of the week
They show you
Nothing but kindness
Empathy and trust
Shoring you up
When your mood slips
They don’t need
To be, always
With you in body
In your mind they
Are, In your
Prayers and thoughts
You know if you
Need them
They’ll be at
Your side in
A tick
I’m lucky in my life
To have one like this
Who is has always
Been there for me
When I was in need
To speak to
To listen to
To love and cherish
ALWAYS
Thank you my friend
You know who you are
The difference you’ve made
Is beyond my greatest desire
You changed me a little
Which was much needed
I say
You gave me the courage
To just be me
I love you
For many years now I’ve had folk have told me I should write my story into a book. I’ve always said what’s the point. No one would believe it.
However I’ve made a determination to write it by September. Only using provable facts. Things about my childhood I can prove from my social services record.
Things I’ve seen and heard recently have mad me realise people need to hear stories like mine. To prevent the same mistakes being made over and over again. As they are!
Since I started reading blogs no here. I’ve read about writing styles, what words create a better reaction and so on.
It made me think why do I write?
So I write because I need to. I don’t write to get published or to have others read what I’ve written. Its because there’s a story in my head and writing it down relaxes me. I don’t think about writing style etc. Just get the story on paper is all I need or want to do.
Am I approaching writing in the wrong way?
Look forward to hearing your view.
